Lightstep's Journal

Blog

2003-08-15T23:58:00.000-06:00

BLOOOOG... Blog blog blog... Blog...

Hehe... More females flirt with me than two males combined! I feel so touched...
Dum de dum...
If you can't tell I'm fucking bored...
I'd rant about something.. but I'm just no in that kind of mood.

Buh bye!

The Strangest Dream

2003-08-08T12:19:00.000-06:00

Mood: Unsure. Inspired by the dream, yet fearful of certain aspects of it. Mood yet to be decided.

I don't exactly remember how it started. Ahh... Yes...
My dream started out with me in Edmonton, the capital city just West of here where I went to school. I was waiting at a stop with some people that were supposedly friends. We got on the bus, because it was winter and dark out, and we talked as the bus went downtown. I noticed that the turns were different and the last stop where I was supposed to get off at wasn't where it was supposed to be. Mad at myself, I told the bus driver to stop because I'd gotten on the wrong bus. She sighed and stopped at the corner and let me get off. The bus drove away and I was thoroughly lost. I'd never been the back portions of the city before. So I started walking. Eventually I got to Grant Mchuwen, a college here made up of several buildings. It was late and cold, so I weaved my way through the buildings on the outside, since I knew my way from the street in front of it. Halfway through I realized that they'd changed the building so I couldn't pass around it. Then I saw one of the doors open. It lead to a gymnasim. I walked into the gym. It was somewhat dark, but I could still see a bit. Then, someone grabbed me and it turned out to be Xander, someone I'd known at school. He asked me what I was doing there and I said I was lost and trying to find the main road. He looked around quickly and then showed me to another door which lead out the other side. Just as I was leaving, a teacher went to grab the door from the outside and looked at me. He'd known me.... somehow. He told me to get going and get off the property. So I ran.

Then... my dream changed again and I was walking along the road with a lady that had two dogs. Chows, I think they were. Only a little sleeker in my dream. It was still dark and it was winter. We were walking along a steep road that, on the lefthand side was a steep embankment, perhaps 70 degrees in elevation. Beyond the land, which flattened out for 7 feet at the bottom, was the North Saskatchewan river. One of the dogs then ran from the lady and slipped over the snow and ice covered embankment. She screamed and I jumped after the dog. The dog was running down the hill, but his claws gave him some ability to grasp at the ground. I knew if the dog reached the river, it'd die. So somehow, I sped myself up. Not running... but I just reached where the dog was. Almost like I teleported... but I'd seen myself speed up and nothing had blipped in my vision. I grabbed the dog by the collar and swung him a little to keep him from the water. The lady up top was releaved, to say the least. So I walked the dog along the flattened level of the land until we reached a spot where the incline was short and not too steep. I gave a whistle and the dog ran up it, pulling me along behind. We reached the lady and the scene changed yet again.

(Now it gets interesting)
I was coming home, like I would from school. But... when I got home and into the house, my computer was gone and everything that was mine or could remotely be thought of as mine was gone. I looked at my mother and she gave me a hateful look. She told me to get out, that I wasn't wanted there. I didn't know what to do... so I turned and I ran... and the scene changed slightly again.

Now... I was in a house like my own... but it was different too. Instead of having only two levels and two bedrooms, it was more like an actual house. The living room was the same, but the upper level was odd. It had many different rooms in many different styles. I was living with Anthony at the time. It was our house. Or rather, a double level appartment, I believe. I was on the computer and something started happening. It was like a virus, but the feel of it was frightening. Not knowing what to do... I unplugged the computer. Anthony, who'd been in the kitchen, came over to me, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking around, as if waiting for something. I told him there was something wrong with the computer. He looked at it then looked at me and motioned for me to go upstairs. So.. I went upstairs and he followed, his body posture rather frightening, not because it was aggressive, but it was like he was preparing himself for something...

I went upstairs and the scene sort of changed... I was in my room, or a room that looked like my room at my mothers house. There were these bugs... Large beetles and spiders... I'm not afraid of insects, but these were different. There was something to fear about them. Something deadly that I couldn't explain, I only sensed it. The beetles weren't that active yet... but I knew if I didn't put them somewhere they would kill me later. So I managed to catch one of them in a containor... a big beetle. I grabbed some duct tape and taped the containor up completely. I did the same with another beetle and a big spider. What I hadn't noticed is that small spiders and beetles had been crawling accross the floor to me. Somehow, I was able to talk to them and it wasn't frightening. But they didn't respond like normal. They seemed almost in a trance, as if something higher controlled them. I turned a bit, looking at them, and a Black Widow bit the heel of my foot. I stepped on her and ran from the room. Anthony wasn't upstairs, so I went downstairs to tell him what was going on... And then, the computer came on. Some people appeared on the screen. They had weird features and were frightening to look at. I glanced at the ground and noticed.... the computer was unplugged... what was happening.... Anthony then came running over, grabbed me and pulled me upstairs. Something was going on and it was frightening.

We were in the bathroom and Anthony looked at me as if he knew exactly what had happened and what I was thinking. But then... the sound of insects distracted us both and we looked to the screen window. Out of some instinct, I went to the bathtub that was no more than half a foot away and I turned on the hot water... Full on... Plugged up the tub and let the water run. Anthony stood by the window, again looking prepared against something that was going to attack. He glanced at me with a look that said "Ready?" and I nodded slightly. Then... These things flew in. They were like wasps or bees... Clinging in larges groups once they landed on us. They made for our hands at first, clinging on in the hundreds. Before they had a chance to bit or sting or kill, we plunged out hands into the intensely hot bathwater. While it hurt us slightly, the insect things let out a terribly screech as they seemed to burst into a green dust. Once we'd gotten them off our hands, Anthony told me to run and I did. Many other things attacked, that I know for sure, but I don't remember them. Perhaps it was because of the blinding pain from the Black Widow bite, or my mind didn't want to show me. All I knew is that something had been sending something after us. There were more people in the building as well, but I didn't know that until later. The people after us did something once the fighting proved useless. They turned everyone into a single eye... Except me. Something had protected me and transported us all from that place. We landed in what seemed to be a river, flowing quickly and we drifted closer to a mighty cave-looking cavern, the thunder of water telling of a torrent to come. The eyes floated next to me... And around me. I knew that they were my followers at that point, but I didn't know why or how. Despite the lack of eyelids and a face, each eye expressed an amount of fear going into this cavern, except for Anthony, who's eye floated beside me.

We were plunged into darkness and the water threw us this way and that. Eventually, the rock beneath us grew shallow and it was more like a water slide. Eventually, it grew softer and slower until we arrived at a rather still pool of water. It's surface glassy, despite the slight waterfall on which we arrived. The cave was lit with a pale light, like the stars or the moon. Off to the right side seemed like a platform. Several people waited there. They looked like Elves, but they didn't, as well. Their hair was a rich golden, and soft coral-looking prongs grew from their foreheads and weaved into their hair. It was quite beautiful and rich looking. I went over to the platform and looked at them all. The tallest male spoke.
"We are glad you returned safely."
Anthony came up behind me, then, once again the full being he was, not an eye any longer. But he looked different. I can't explain how... but he looked.... different. More regal... More powerful. His hair was a dark color, nearly black, and he didn't have the fleshy coral-prongs that the others did. None of my followers did. Curiously, I reached up and found I had them. Small, but they were there. My hair had, too, changed. It was now a white-golden. Not blonde, but rich. The tallest pronged male walked over to Anthony and pulled what seemed like a package wrapped in leaves from a strap on his shoulder.
"Why are you carrying this?! Are you the one who is to sail the swan?!"
"Of course not. The Lady didn't know what was going on, so I held onto it for her."
"Indeed."
The tall male then tossed the leaf-bound thing into the water. It was perhaps 6 inches by 6 inches. When it touched the water, a glow came from it and it unwound. Then, a boat appeared just above where it had been thrown, sitting atop the water gracefully. It was, indeed, in the shape of a swan. While I didn't know exactly what to do, I knew that was mine and that I was supposed to go on some important quest... To save the lives of these people.. These... followers. Anthony would stay at my side. I couldn't explain how I knew, but I knew. The tallest pronged male told me to quickly get in the boat, for there wasn't much time. I was about to do so, when I could no longer hold myself up. All I remember was I fell to the hard stone of the floor on my back, a pronged lady at my side. Somehow, I knew she was a relative. Anthony leaned down as well. All I remember is the lady saying that I had been shot and that they were try to do everything to help me. My eyes then closed and I was thrown into darkness.

It was then that my dream ended and I awoke. It was such an amazing dream. While I was scared, many a time, I always felt the need of purpose and knew I would be able to keep myself alive... It was so exilerating. I've never felt like that before. So confident and calm in a chaotic situation. It was truly bliss...

A Light at the End of the Tunnel!

2003-08-06T16:48:00.000-06:00

Mood: Excited yet Nervous

I've never been paticularly lucky, but today... well today proved that wrong. Really wrong. My mother approached me with a printed off version of an e-mail she had recieved from a co-worker. It seems Leslie (the friend) and her husband were looking for people as Part-time or Full-time work. And guess what the best part is?! Her husband, Archie, owns a STABLE and THAT'S where they need people working! Now... I haven't gone off about how much I love horses, but lets just say that 3 out of 5 dreams are about them. The stable is personal and Archie is a professional trainer! Starting rate is $7 an hour too! What could beat that? The job requires working with horses, grooming, mucking out stalls, general maintenance, feeding and a few other things. So... I get PAID to do something I would willing do ANYWAY. And here's the big thing... All the horses are SHOW HORSES! So basically... the best of the best, in Archie's eyes. I'm not sure what breed they are... but I love almost every type of horses. Except leopard appaloosa's, but those aren't popular around here. I can't wait.

My interview is in an hour. I hope Archie considers me. He might be a bit picky, since I'm 16, and Leslie said he can be a bit of a perfectionist at times, expecting people do to something when he says it, but you know what? I'm a good listener, I catch on to things very quickly, I've already worked around horses for 5 years and Leslie knows a lot about my personality and desire already. Oh I can't wait... What shall I wear?! How will I do my hair? Nails?! Shoes?! I have to go before my brain explodes. Wish me luck!!

Kids and Birthdays

2003-08-05T15:39:00.000-06:00

It may be just me, but have you ever been around someone who gets all excited when their birthday is near, telling you Every Day for a WEEK that their birthday is on Tuesday? Alright... I don't -mind- wishing someone happy birthday. If it's someone I like, then the more satisfaction I get from wishing them well on the date of their birth. But what the HELL is with people telling me about their birthdays a month early?! Do I give a shit then?! No. Am I going to get them a gift right then? No. I don't buy gifts for people. If I feel the need to, I'll draw them something. After all, I am an artist.

Honestly, though, it really pisses me off. It's like they expect everyone to be as hyper about their date of birth as they are. I certainly am not. Even with my friends, I usually don't care enough to say more than "Happy Birthday". If you're reading this and you're one of those people, think twice about bounding around some not-so-happy person, proclaiming that they must get you a gift, because that gift might end up as murder. Okay? Thanks.

First Nude

2003-08-02T16:30:00.001-06:00

I have finally done it. A human-like drawing. I finally have completed one to my pleasure, one that I actually like, despite minor flaws.

Here's my Elven Nude.

Spelling

2003-08-01T12:02:00.000-06:00

Here's a popular issue. Spelling. It seems simple enough, right? The placing of letters in the English language to make words common to all of us. So why do people fuck up constantly? I thought we learned how to spell in grade 2, people! I know why people suck at spelling lately.

First reason: Slang. Fuckng slang. "wut u up 2?" "wassup?" "how r u?" "dats coo" etc. You know what... It sounds fucking stupid!! Type the actual words so you don't look like a fucking gang-wannabe. That way we might actually respect what you say later without dismissing it because you say "u". Is it so hard to type THREE WHOLE LETTERS?! "Y-O-U" it's not hard! I'm sorry, but if you can't even type that then you should go find your Daddy's gun, put the barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger. It will do everyone some good.

Second: Laziness.... LAAAAAAZZZZZZIIIINNESSSSS!! Is everyone so weak from junk food and video games that when it comes to typing a word they simply sound it out and hope for the best? Apparently so. It's easier to just get up off your ass, open the fucking dictionary (You should have a dictionary lying around. If not, then steal one. Simple. There are enough dictionaries to go around. They make millions for your idiots.). If you look up a word, read the spelling of it then the meaning, you'll probably remember for later on. If not, read it again and you'll remember, surely, for next time. There. See? You just improved your I.Q., dipshit. So stop bloody talking to me using these SLANG words. Honestly... If you're going to be so fucking stupid as to use a NUMBER instead of a TWO LETTER WORD then you are, indeed, pathetic. Repeat step talked about in Reason One.

A wonder of wonders

2003-07-30T14:21:00.000-06:00

The race of humans is a strange one indeed. Have you ever seperated yourself from the species and just watched? It's what I do constantly, and forever I'll wonder why humans do what they do. We create toxic chemicals to clean our houses, where our children live. We build factories near cities where people breathe. We build cars to travel from one place to another more quickly, and in doing so we create hazards for people when drunks get behind the wheel, or when a business man is busy on his cellphone, too busy to see the crosswalk where a ten year old is walking to get to his first day of school. Why do we do this? We create money and in doing so, we end up with the poor and the rich, nothing inbetween. We breed like the mice that plagued Australia several years back, which caused tens of millions in damage, only we cause the distruction of everything around us.

Humans are so strange. I will never understand them. You might think I'm being all 'high and mighty' by not referring to myself often as a human, which is true, because I would hate to disgrace myself by referring to my species with a name that belongs to a disease. Like Agent Smith said, "Humans are a disease." It's true. We breed, multiply, congrigate in vast areas, rape the land of nutrients and send it to other cities so that they might populate, produce mass amounts of garbage that not only destroy the land, but the air as well. Sewage polutes rivers, which we drink and fish from. We are even looking to other planets to populate on! Doesn't this sound like a plague to you?

Next topic: Humans playing God.
I will not talk about the topic of Religion and humans, due to the fact that nearly every human is so blinded by 'belief' that they automatically tell me I am wrong, as if they have proof to the exsistance of the ones they worship.
Humans now play God. Why? Because they believe it is their given right to help insure the survival of their species. Have you noticed lately that diseases are becoming immune to drugs, that they are becoming more and more powerful, that the different types of diseases cropping up everywhere are enough to match the amount of diseases identified over hundreds of years before the 'modern age'. Did you ever think there was a REASON to this? Hmm.. Let's ponder this.. shall we?

Humans live in large areas known as cities. This is where people went WRONG. When you can't supply food for yourself without having it shipped in from accross the country, then you're doing something WRONG. When you live in big cities like that, it causes diseases. Sure.. we blame it on rats and pigeons and cockroaches, but they wouldn't BE there to spread diseases if WE didn't make the god-damn cities in the first place! Had everyone just gotten a farm for themselves, grown their own food and kept livestock, then everything would be fine. Sure you'd get mice, but due to the population being spread over a wide area, diseases wouldn't have the chance to develop and spread very easily. And if they did, it would remain quarenteened for the most part.

So... now we live in cities. Vast cities. Absolutely huge, disproportioned quantities of humans in one gathering place. Diseases have much time to mature... then when there is an outbreak, you know what we do? We use drugs. Now... Let me explain how the human body works.

The human body is a natural germ fighter. Over your entire life-time, your body fights germs that invade your body, your white blood cells destroying anything that is foreign, that's it's job. It's very good at it too, let me assure you. Now... The reasons that people get sick lately are simple. First, in order to work good, your body needs the right fuel. You wouldn't put water in a gas-tank and expect to win any races, now would you? This is why bodies aren't as immune to things lately. Humans are designed to eat things WITHOUT preservatives or chemicals. Due to the amount of preservatives and chemicals in foods lately, not to mention fake fat, your body has to deal with those things. So you're basically giving it another job to do, when it should be fighting off things. That's why you feel weak and tired if you eat junk-food. Another reason is that in order to run smoothly, you need exercise. Why? It keeps your blood circulating, keeps your muscles healthy, plus many other aspects of your body. The reason you need to do this is because, again, you don't want to give your body another job to do. If you're fat, then your body is also managing the storage of your body fat. This makes work harder. Not only does it waste blood (because veins must lengthen in order to reach your skin through the layers of your massive obeseness), but it is also really hard on your heart. So... your body AGAIN wastes time dealing with things it really shouldn't have to take care of. Give your body a break. Eat and apple and go out for a walk, you stupid retard.

Getting more on the drug topic... When you use any type of drug, your body doesn't, at first, know what it is. Say you had a perscription to fight an infection under your fingernail. Alright, sounds good to you right? After all, that infection is gross looking and hurts like a bitch. Well... okay... you can take it... but it might be your funeral. Let me explain yet again. When you get an infection, it means that your body, for some reason, hasn't been able to attend to the germs that have invaded your body. This is usually due to lack of eat, exercise, or the long-term use of drugs. When you use perscription drugs (or any drugs, for that matter) the drugs, designed to do their job, go to work right away, weakening and destroying the bad cells and germs. What does this give the white blood cells to do? Nothing. They don't learn what kind of germs are invading you because the medicine has already destroyed a great number of them. So... the white blood cells are left unimmune. You've heard that word before, right? Immune? It means that something cannot be harmed. When you get chicken pox, your body spends a long time fighting it. While your body fights it, it learns how to destroy it. Once it learns that, it destroys them. Then, later, when a germ comes into the body, a chicken pox virus, then your body instantly knows what it is and destroys it right away. Thus, the reason you only get chicken pox once in your life. The same goes with infections. While they may come back from time to time, if you let your body deal with it instead of medication, then it'll remember what the infection is later on and treat it more quickly.

Now... I know there are some of you out there who believe that medication is how your body fights things off. Not so. If you believe this after all my valid points, then your fucking stupid and deserve to be shot.

There is also the issue of 'untreatable diseases'. Bull-fucking-shit. You know the reason we have so many diseases like that? Lack of good food, exercise, state of mind and location. Cancer is treatable. The people that say they are looking for a cure mean they are looking for a quick fix. There are no quick fixes in healing. Don't waste your money on "Help find a cure!" foundations. They're a load of bullshit. Cancer is extremely treatable, if you know how. My friend Jake had cancer in his bones, lungs, stomach and upper neck. The doctors gave him 2 months to live. He lived for 4 years on his own without treatment. Know why? State of mind. If you believe "I'm going to die" then your subconsciously telling your cells "Hey... don't fight off that bad stuff... I don't want to live" so then your body will start shutting itself down and not fighting the cancer. His state of mind was "I have to live!". It was because of his daughter that he fought for 4 years with cancer. Only when he went to see his doctor again did he start going downhill. Think about this... When he went to see his doctor, he had just lost custody of his daughter to his ex wife. His doctor told him "Jake, you should go home because you're going to die anytime soon". In a period of ONE WEEK, things had advanced so badly that Jake's lungs were starting to stop working and he couldn't eat or drink.

My mother and I helped him. We gave him natural products, told him to stop seeing doctors, told him to get positive, I kept him positive while my mother did the natural treatment stuff, we got him back in a good state of mind. He had NO khemo treatments. NO radiation treatments. NO medication from doctors. Nothing. After 2 weeks, his cancer had gotten so much better than he could eat full meals without vomiting. He could do light work around the house. He wasn't in as much pain anymore and his outlook on life was again, positive.

If you say that was just coincidence, then how can you explain the same thing happening with my Grandfather? Hmm? Of course, it wasn't the exact same thing, but he would've died without the treatment we gave him.

Humans should stop playing God and just fucking listen. If they did more of that, then people would actually be healthy. Half of the population should be destroyed in North America, and the third world countries should be blown off the face of the Earth, because then we would be rid of so many diseases from them. Of course, we'd have the problem if decomposing bodies, but if proper management took place, this world would be so much better. At this rate, though... We're going to end up raping the rest of this planet and dying from some horrible disease which will cause us to vomit up our own lungs, convulse and break out own spines. Yay!

Quit the RP

2003-07-29T12:05:00.000-06:00

Well... I quit one of my favorite RPs today. The link is to the left side, called Unicorns of the Vale. It turned to shit, no doubt about it. So now I'm gone and checking my other RPs. People have a problem with consistancy, but I've ranted about that before... So I won't bother here... Now I must go and think about things... Think.. and stuff....

Artwork Finally Updated

2003-07-27T13:58:00.000-06:00

I'm really tempted to get my own gallery sometime soon. Right now, mine gallery is based in Elfwood, which means a week-long wait just to get my new artwork posted. It doesn't matter how many you have either. One picture or twenty... It still takes the same amount of time. This update... It took about a week and a half... Far too long for my patience. Besides, I'll probably produce another picture or two in that time-line, so wouldn't it be nice if I could go to my own site and post my own pictures? Of course it would, but for now I have to deal with the crap from Elfwood.

In any event, it finally updated. It's rather frustrating though. Certain pictures get like 100 hits in the first day, yet no comments. It's fucking stupid. Is my art only there to entertain people? A way to stave off bordem with minimal effort? *Sighs* It's a real disgrace. I'm only there to entertain people. Not getting praise on my abilities, not getting comments of admiration, nothing. I even have the option set so that anyone can post... yet out of perhaps 300 people, I only get 10 comments at the very most.

So... go check out my gallery. It's right Here

And, if you see a piece you like, please post. Tell me, maybe, why you like it, what it means to you, or even say Hi. I'll be dearly thankful.... *Goes to her corner and sits, waiting*

AH HAH!!

2003-07-27T00:10:00.000-06:00

I've finally figured out how to change my template. Everyone like the new look? Good... good... Liking the new look is important. To those that weren't here before, my decore was orange and faint oranges... Quite against my taste, really. I was going to go for white font on black, but that is so over-done that it isn't even funny anymore. Frankly, it insults me when I see white font on a black background. Please stay away from situations like that, or I'll be forced to kill you. So I came to the conclusion that I would just use dull colors. Brights are too.. bright.. Red is too... red... but blues and violets are easy on the eyes, so I decided to stay with that, except for the occasional dash of color in the links section, but that doesn't count *sticks out tongue* .

So yes... Lightstep now has original colors. Woopdie-friggen-doo!

Consistancy People!!

2003-07-26T20:04:00.000-06:00

Alright, let's get something straight. When someone joins an RP (In this case, an MSN group RP based on messege boards) it is an unwritten rule (and sometimes even written!) that you be ACTIVE and CONSISTANT in your posting!! None of this "Oh I'll RP when I feel like it" bullshit, because, you know what, other people have to wait for your sorry ass to get online and post so that they can post. Not only is it rude, but it's downright inconsiderate to both the players and the creator. Some of you think "Well, hey, I have a life so of course I'm not going to be able to post very much" Bullshit! I have a life and when I get home, I stop by really quick, check my messeges and post at least SOMETHING so that the other players can post. Sure, it's an easy way out, but it keeps you ACTIVE!! Am I not being clear enough? Hmm.. Then let me continue.

Some people don't RP because they say the RP isn't that active. Well... guess why. YOU!!! Yes... it's your god damn fault that the fucking RP isn't active. YOU are holding up the posting process! YOU are procrastinating so that other people fall behind and decide not to check as often. YOU YOU YOU!! Okay?! Clear?! GOOD!

Next order of business....
ORIGINALITY!!!!
Now... Don't worry people, I know this is a big word for you, so let me explain it from an artistic point of view. Lets say someone creates a character that you absolutely adore. It has all the features you love, all the skills you admire plus an amazing history and personality to boot. This means the creator of the character has been original
Now... what is the proper thing to do when you find a character like this and feel the urge to create one just like it or very similar?
Do you:
A.) Smile and say no, you're just as original and can come up with a wonderful character to go along with that ones storyline, with permission of the creator, of course.
B.) Make one exactly like it, using all the information, but altering it -JUST- slightly so that they can't accuse you of copyright issues.
C.) Only copy certain parts. After all, they won't mind, right?
D.) Whine and bitch that your character isn't good enough and that the person should stop showing off.

The answer is... A!
Congradulations to those that figured it out.
To those people who guessed any other of the following answers... Please do the folliwng.
Step one: Go into the kitchen and find the biggest pot you can find.
Step two: Get someone who absolutely hates you to come over to your house
Step three: Lay down a tarp or some sheet of plastic on the floor
Step four: Sit on the tarp
Step five: Tell the person who hates you to pick up the pot and beat you over the head with it until you either pass out, feel the crack of your skull from the blow to the pot, and/or die.
Step six: The person who killed you will be thankful for the plastic tarp, since it made clean-up a breeze and they got away with murder, thanks to your thoughtfulness.

If you don't follow these carefully outlined steps, or for some reason can't find someone willing enough to kill you, please contact me and I will certain be willing to help aid in the completion of my suggested guidelines.

Note: If any of you KNOW for a fact that someone is stealing properties of your character, word for word, or exact appearence (Even down to the slightest scar) Please either yell at them, so they know they didn't get away with it, or contact me and I will willingly discuss terms with them in such a harsh manner that they will commit suicide and your character will once again be original. Thank you.

Once Again, The Ugly Monster

2003-07-25T23:52:00.000-06:00

*sighs* Why me... why do I have to be so overly jealous that the thought of a single female talking to my boyfriend causes my breath to quicken, my hands to curl into fists, my teeth to clench and my anger to flare to untolerable heights...
Perhaps I'm developing a case of paranoia... who knows.... all I know is I'm so mad I can't even type anymore on this subject... I will put up something later.....

Jealousy

2003-07-24T00:55:00.000-06:00

What a fucked up thing that is. Jealousy. It makes the calmest girls insane, the weakest men strong and everything inbetween. I know I shouldn't feel jealous of the various females that Anthony talks to, but I can't help it, Especially since most flirt with him constantly. But there is one impaticular. Her name is April. Oh what a fat self-centered big titted egotistical slut. Now... she wants him to start RPing with her again. She plays his daughters, but also his mistresses (sluts) from long ago. One was in the RP tonight. I couldn't be there because we only have one computer, but I watched as her character flirted with his (Draven) and basically declared her love for him. It's been known that In Real Life she wants him badly. Hell.. she even started rumours about him raping and beating women just because he wouldn't get back together with her. Sound like a stalker? I think so. I hate her so much. She even had the lack of intelligence to TALK to me on MSN, informing me of her NAME. "Oh and by the way, I'm April" like I didn't know who she fucking was! I RPed with her for 4 years and she doesn't even REMEMBER ME?! Yet she remembers -every- -little- -fucking- -thing- when it comes to Anthony. Obsession? Certainly.

There are several other females who tend to flirt towards Anthony. Some I know and that's fine. Others I don't know but from the conversations I look at (It's in IM, after all) I can tell it's just goofing around (Mostly because the other person is sometimes male). There is one psychtic chick that I DEARLY want to put in her place! Her name is Tassanna Burrfoot, or at least, that's the name she's known by. She seriously tells people that she's going to live with Anthony someday. That they're going to get together. How much of a man he is, how his various anatomy is so large, etc etc. It's maddening! I had the chance to talk to her today, and how I wished to scream at her that he was mine. His body parts belong to me. Mine belong to him. He hardly even talks to her! Oh how I looong to tell her what I think of her psychotic 'crush' on him. How I dearly wish to tell her the intimate details of the acts I've engaged in, informing her of how she will never get within seven miles of Anthony without me hunting her down, slicing out her liver and feeding it to wild dogs while still attached to her body.

Oh yes... Jealousy is a cruel and wonderful thing....

Random Stuff

2003-07-23T17:49:00.000-06:00

Well.... today was a rude awakening. At 7 am the neighbors decided to have a fucking screaming match in their kitchen, forgetting that their window was OPEN. So was mine. All I hear is "You don't have enough time for me!!!" "I work!!" "Well if I wake you up at 5 am to talk, you should listen!!" "I WORK NIGHTS!! YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING JOB!!" "Are you calling me incompetant?!" I was SO close to just getting up, going over there, telling them both to shut the fuck up and tell her to move out because, apparently, she can't understand the concept that he HAS to work two jobs in order to keep up her SHOPPING HABBITS! Seriously! She always asks for a couple hundred dollars, which she gets, then she bitches later when he won't give her anymore money because he has to pay for his DAUGHTER and the RENT!

Oh! This is the best part. His Daughter is from a previous marriage. She's only 4. When they started fighting, they made her go outside and 'play' while they screamed at each other. Poor girl. She's so cute. Her name is Rain and she's just a little doll. She wandered outside along the sidewalk for about half an hour before going and sitting in the yard while her fathers girlfriend degraded Brad (The dad) using various swearwords. That's what got me pissed is the fact that they made HER go outside so THEY could yell. She could hear them anyway!! Fucking neighbors. I got dressed and went to go yell at them, but my mother stopped me, saying it's not my place to bug them. No, maybe not, but when theres a kid involved between screaming matches involving degrading four letter words, then SOMEONE needs to get involved. Child services, anyone?

On a lighter note, I was recently looking into horses and such, since my mother said I have her permission to get one (with my own money, so it will take a while yet). I was researching whether to get an OT TB or another kind of horse (broken or unbroken). I asked several people their opinions. Of course, the younger ones (friends my age) said I should adopt a racehorse because it was a good cause. So I decided to ask a trainer who's worked with TB's from the track. She suggested I get a normal horse that's never been on the track, whether it's broken or unbroken. Seems like a logical idea, so I'll probably go with that. Really wish I could get this 17 hh stallion that's for sale here. He's so pretty. But.. he'll be sold by the time I have some money so there's no point in getting attached... *Sigh*

In Art news... I recently finished my first commission! Yay! It's for a friend of mine. Nice picture. It's of a Nightmare. I'll probably make a copy of it, just because it turned out so nicely. I'll be hard-pressed to sell it, but I can always make another in due time, I supposed. In any event, it turned out nicely.

Eh.... I hate my neighbors.. This morning they're fighting and now, at 6 pm, they're having sex upstairs (I live in a townhouse, so we share a wall. Plus their window and our windows are open) I swear, they have no sense of politeness. All you can hear is her and him screaming "OH YEAH!! OH YEAH!!!" "ARRRRGG!!" "OH STICK IT IN MY ASS!!!" It's so disgusting.... Not the act itself... but the fact that HE moans more than SHE does. *Shakes her head*

Oh great... ten minutes later they're screaming at each other again. Won't they ever break up?!! Excuse me while I hang myself....

BIG MASSIVE TITS!!!

2003-07-23T01:06:00.000-06:00

I am seriously going to vomit from my eyes the next time I even HEAR someone bragging about their so called "Massive tits", "Huge rack", "BIG BOOBS", "Large knockers", etc etc etc! I am quite happy with my small chest... They're about an A now. But I see some of these women with Double D to Double H size breasts. What the fuck!? I heard about boob guys, but this is fucking rediculous. Big boobs are NOT that great! Hell... they're disgusting... and I can say this because I am bisexual and thus, I appreciate the female body just as much as males out there do! When I see a woman with huge breasts in a TEENIE TINY shirt I want to vomit. If they're more than a man-sized handful then they're TOO BIG.
What disgusts me the most are FAT people with big breasts. Okay.... people... LISTEN... just because you have big boobs doesn't mean your hot, especially if you're three hundred god damn pounds! Of course you have big boobs.. You body can't fit anymore fat into your ass! It's just fucking stupid. Now... I know some people naturally have big breasts who don't flaunt them... Hell I knew someone with double H sized breasts natrually and she was relatively slim and she got a breast reduction. Now -that- is commendable... but getting breast IMPLANTS isn't!
Haven't you ever seen Jerry Springer? They had a contest for biggest tits once. I. was. Disgusted! There were females out there, skinny as fucking hell, with so much plastic stuck into themselves that their boobs STOOD OUT from their bodies TWO FEET OR MORE WITHOUT SAGGING!! How fucking natural is that?! Yeah it's great.. but you can never be on top if you're having sex with a guy because you'll suffocate him to death with your massive orbs of flesh!
Then there are the women with naturally big boobs who are kind of skinny (Meaning their stomach doesn't have the same diameter of their chest) who flaunt it all the time. "Oh I have big breasts! I'm so hot!" Yeah, baby, just keep telling yourself that. You just remember that you are SO hot when your boobs start to sag and sag and sag and eventually, instead of wasting time stuffing them into your bra, you just tuck them in your belt and go off to do some shopping.
Big boobs are disgusting. Get over it. Men, if you base your opinion of a girl on the size of her breasts, then you're worse off then most men. They're just massive orbs of fat surrounding a milk-producing organ. Think of it like cushioning. If we fall down, we don't break 'em. See? Now I can understand guys and their need to tits... I mean.. they're nice to play with! You got the flesh around the outside that makes a perfect cup, a nice little nipple in the center. It's just nice. But once you get past B or C sized breasts, then it's going too far. It's no fun if you need two hands to fondle one breast. Just not functional. Especially when the girl's on top, pumping away and her boobs are bitch-slapping your face because they're so big that they HANG. It's just not right. Get into smaller tits. This usually comes with a smaller girl too. And don't think that you can't get a hot girl then go for some fat chick. Trust me. Girls everywhere are always wondering "Why do the fat ones get the nice guys?" Next small chested girl you see, compliment her (Unless you're 20 and she's 13.. then that's a no-no). It'll give her a boost and might get you a blowjob. Who knows?
All I'm saying is small breasts are better and more efficent than big breasts. End of story. If you wish to discuss this topic with me, e-mail me at smalltits@kissmyass.com.

2003-07-22T22:09:00.000-06:00

Mmm... Beefy

You know... I really like beef jerky... It must be my favorite food, next to steak, roast and potatoes with gravy.. Mmmm... Oh of course I like other foods.. but MEAT is still soo good. Mmm...*Munching on beef jerky*
I don't really have much else to say right now... I hate April... I'm doing a commission that I fucking messed up on... RP is a little slow so I'm bored... My hair is being pretty lately... Yep.. That's about it. So ta ta for now. I may add more in a little while to this... but I'm bored for the moment so I'm going to go enjoy my meat. Yummy...

2003-07-21T23:39:00.001-06:00

Cranky Sleepless Rant

Wow... this actually worked. Jesus christ... I did something right? Ego boost for me. Hmm.. Now... what to rant about.
Construction! I fucking hate construction... Okay, let me give you a mental picture... I live in a townhouse, so it's attached to other houses and we share a parking lot. I had gotten a total of about 4 hours sleep for the past 2 days.. So last night I went to bed at 2 am... Didn't fall asleep until about 3 am. So FINALLY, I got some sleep. Really deep peaceful FUCKING SLEEP! Then.... it started. At 6 am they brought in a bunch of construction equipment to rip up the parking lot because it was bumpy! People complained that the parking lot was BUMPY so they ripped it up and are going to pave over it. So... at 6 am all I hear is "VROOOOM!!! Beep beep beep beep beep SCREEEEECH CRRRUUUNCH". Is it just me or are those fucking machines ALWAYS backing up? 5 seconds of VROOM! then 20 minutes of BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!! I was seriously insane. So... after only getting 3 hours sleep, I got up and stormed downstairs. My entire day was ruined thanks to those fuckheads who complained about the BUMPY PARKING LOT!! If you EVER think a parking lot is bumpy and complain, let it be known that somehow, someway, I will hunt you down, kill you slowly but cutting off all your minor limbs with a butterknife, followed by your arms and legs then I will proceed to feed you to hungry Russian children!! Do you understand?! GOOD!!
Now have a good day ^_^

-Lightstep

2003-07-21T23:21:00.000-06:00

First Test

Alright, this is my first try at this thing. After searching for LJ and DJ codes for weeks, I finally gave up and got one of these.. things. I'm still not sure what the hell this is, but meh... It works and I can rant all I want! Take that! Poor DJ could've used me. I rant about -EVERYTHING!- You might not believe me.. but it's completely true... So yes... Yay I have a journal thingy now. *Does a dance*